| Shipment Get?! A New York City Adventure! |
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| 02:01pm 22/08/2007 |
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Yesterday started out like any other day for us here at the store. In a word, slow. But that wasn't a problem, because yesterday was the release date for the highly anticipated BioShock. The game has been getting near perfect reviews and we've had some customers express interest in it, so we felt good about how the day would turn out. Just to make sure we'd know when our shipment would be here we called our distributor and asked for the tracking number.
"I can't find it right now, I'll give you a call back," our contact says.
"Uh-oh," I said.
Turns out that uh-oh was appropriate. They forgot to ship it. Oops? A set back, to say the least, but I wasn't about to let the day pass without having this game in the store, so we set out to fix the problem. Both of our distributors are located in New York, so after a quick order by phone, a Google maps search, and a cup of coffee, I was off. Keep in mind that I've never driven anywhere near NYC, let alone through Manhattan and Long Island, but I love you guys that much.
The drive up was, interesting, thanks to the never ending rain. It created a white-out condition, or rather, a gray-out. The sky and road became the same color, with vehicles only slightly darker. It felt like Turok: Kart Wars (no, thankfully, that doesn't exist). I stopped at a rest stop for a finely aged whopper and the first of many pit stops (damn coffee) and made it up and through Manhattan with very few problems. So far so good. But here's where things get tricky.
Google had advised me to take an exit from the Midtown Tunnel that doesn't actually exist, at least, it wasn't named with any kind of readable sign. I soon found myself in Queens, certain that I had gone way too far. I doubled back, I think, and found myself hideously lost amongst the labyrinthine roads of Long Island. "Hey!" I said, "that's 21st St, that's where I need to be!" No sooner had I swung onto what I thought would be my ticket to my destination that I find myself on a bridge, going back into Manhattan. Buh?! Keep in mind that I have no real sense of direction. Things were not looking good and time, as they say, kept on slipping. It was roughly 3 p.m. at this point. Much like Homer Simpson, I wanted to leave before dark at any costs, and prior to rush hour if possible. This was not to be.
Skip ahead an hour, I've found the place, somehow. I get the goods, ask for the fastest way back to NJ and get what seems like some excellent directions. Very few turns and a quick shot south... through the Holland Tunnel. For those of you keeping track, it's now after 4 p.m.. That's right, I'm about to try to get to the Holland Tunnel during rush hour. This is when I experienced what can only be described as a recreation of the scene from Independence Day wherein Jeff Goldblum is trying to escape the island on bike. I was playing the part of the guy not going anywhere in his car.
It took me an hour to go 2 very short city blocks. Or is it streets? Either way, for what amounted to maybe 8 car lengths, it took me an hour to go that far.
The rules of the road no longer applied. I'm pretty sure the laws of Man no longer applied. Up was down, left was right, red was green, the sidewalk was now an entirely viable pathway for vehicles. Other motorists must have figured that they could phase through solid objects, because they certainly tried.
Skip ahead again and somehow I'm out, I'm back in sweet, stinky, safe, New Jersey. I think I blacked out for a while, but in time I was cruising along as a respectable speed and well on my way back to the store. Showed up around 7 p.m. and promptly went on to sell exactly zero copies of BioShock.
Crap.
The game is beyond fantastic, fyi. My reward for the journey was an evening with this beautiful and terrifying game, and first hand knowledge of NYC driving insanity. We've now got plenty of copies, so come and get em while the gettin's good. This is going to be a major contender for game of the year, and the first shot fired in what is sure to be one of the best gaming holiday seasons since the Halo 2/MGS3/GTA: SA bonanza of '04. |
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| Never tell me the odds! |
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| 12:16am 20/07/2007 |
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mood:  excited
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I want to give everybody an update on the business, but I couldn't quite decide what I wanted to say.
Sure I could just say that we closed the loan on Tuesday and have been placing orders since then. Next week will be a lot of setting up, as will the week after that. These things are time consuming you see.
I could leave it at that, but there was more that I wanted to say than just the bare bones update, I didn't realize this until after watching The Empire Strikes Back. A real shock huh? Whenever I've got something to say I tie it into Star Wars.
"This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away... to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh! Excitement. Heh! A Jedi craves not these things." -Yoda
As most of you know, I started working on this business a long time ago. I think I've wanted to do this for longer than I can remember, but the first seeds were sown when I worked with Gregg at EB and we became friends, I introduced him to the idea of being my partner and we've been working on it ever since. That was 4 years ago. That whole time I've been talking about what I would do later on, how things would be eventually. Always looking to the future, so much so that I'm sure many people doubted that I'd ever actually go through with it. But now I find that there's very little looking forward, and a whole lot of keeping my mind on where I am, what I'm doing.
So here we are, spending days ordering actual inventory, with real money. We have actual dates for deliveries. Tomorrow we'll be spending most of the day in the store, and starting next week, we'll be spending every day there. I must admit, this is a strange sensation, knowing that we're no longer dealing in possibilities, having lived so long worrying about what would happen at some unknown date and time in the future. Whether I was ever really aware of what we were attempting, I'm feeling the pressure now. It can be a bit scary. But not the crippling kind of fear, but rather the motivating kind of scary that gets your adrenaline pumping. We're spending some serious cash here in the hopes that we can turn it into even more money. That's a pretty big gamble. It can be surprisingly daunting ticking off boxes in an excel spreadsheet wondering, "Is this going to sell? Will people want this? Are we ordering too many Spider-man toys?"
And the problems, oh the problems. Problems you couldn't even imagine. Everybody tells me to make sure I do this and that, but nobody told me that one day we'd walk in and find our brand new carpet completely flooded by some mysterious water source. Yeah, that happened. But we're rolling with it. We're finding that our opening stock may seem a bit weak, that our video game distributor does not currently carry the newest Pokemon(?!), that Dell couldn't process our debit card because, oops! it never actually got activated. Or that the cabinets we wanted would have to be shipped from halfway across the country, taking nearly a month to show up and cost twice as much to ship. It isn't anything we can't handle, this is fun, this is real, this is now. We're no longer day dreaming about what it'll be like, because "it" is here.
So stay tuned, we'll let everybody know when we'll be open, and keep your eyes peeled for our soon to be updated myspace page! Oh, and sorry for the length of this post, but Star Wars'll do that to me. |
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| Misquoting Star Wars and You: A Practical Guide |
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| 05:54pm 20/05/2007 |
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mood:  geeky
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Not too long ago, I was having a conversation with Shaun about his website, and an article he was having trouble finishing. He explained what it was about, and how he had used a quote from Yoda to open with.
“Named must your fear be before banish it you can.”
It's from Empire, he tells me. Now, I don't consider myself an expert in everything Star Wars. I couldn't tell you the name of the capital ships in the major battles, but I can name a few planets and bit characters. I'd definitely say that I know more about the series than I should, but an expert? Not quite. That being said, the one thing that I am incredibly familiar with is the dialog from the original trilogy, particularly with Empire.
Quick! How many lines does Boba Fett have in Empire? The answer is five.
Truthfully I had to double check that, I didn't want to blurt out an answer only to be wrong. Which brings me to my main point.( Warning, extreme geek rant ahead. ) |
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| Oscar |
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| 02:32am 08/03/2007 |
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mood:  crushed
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I wouldn't be able to tell you exactly how long I've had Oscar, or what his exact age is. But I do remember picking him out, the little white one with the gray smudge on his head that made him look like had just come from church on Ash Wednesday. He was from a farm, and I chose him because he walked around more than the other kittens. That was roughly 18 years ago, any idea how many that is in cat years? Over time that smudge faded, we started calling him a moon face. He got fat, so fat in fact that he won the prize for largest cat in Linwood at the Fair. He loved to be brushed in the mornings when my mom was getting ready for work, and he'd be waiting at the door for us when we got home. He was the only cat that I knew of that would come when you called for him, but mostly it was just when I called for him. He slept in my bed nearly every single night and would pee on anything that smelled like me that I left on the floor. I guess that was his way of letting everyone know that I was his. At some point he had been bitten on his right ear, by either the dog or the other cat, and it had cauliflowered, replacing that smudge as his distinguishing mark.
He died tonight. It isn't as if we didn't see it coming, he was walking around funny and not doing much of anything but sleeping by the heater. That doesn't make it any easier to say good-bye to somebody you've known almost your entire life, even if that somebody happens to be a cat.
I know it sounds silly, especially with everything I've had to deal with, but this still hurts like hell. Maybe some of it is that I have a lot of loss to deal with in the near future, and maybe some of it is what I've already lost. Either way, it hurts.
Cat or not, I lost a friend tonight. |
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| You've got Yang in my Ying |
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| 03:01pm 03/09/2006 |
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mood:  cynical music: Lost In Love - Air Supply (yeah, that's right, Air Supply)
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To quote my lovely wife, "We can't have nice things."
If you're reading this you can most likely see her entry on the subject, if you haven't done so yet now is the time. Go ahead, I'll wait for you.
...
Good? Alright. Anyway, like I was saying, we can't seem to have nice things. Or more accurately, we can't have something nice without something considerably not nice as well. For instance, we got married (yay!) but there was torrential rain (boo). Or, we have an amazing honeymoon that was only possible through the generosity of our friends and family, only to come home to Jenn's mom being diagnosed with cancer. Perhaps this is simply the way of the world, and everybody's experience, I don't know. As is one of the tenants of existentialism, the only perspective you can be sure of is your own.
But I digress. Do you believe in karma? Maybe that should be Karma, with an emphasis on the capital K. Maybe you'd feel more comfortable with calling it Fate, God, or the Matrix. Sometimes it is difficult to remain an skeptic when it comes to the question of a higher power. I do believe that if there is a higher power, he/she/it would have far more important things to do than to cleverly convince me of their existence in a roundabout way. Even so...
I'm beginning to think that it isn't about the supernatural, instead, perhaps this is all about the natural. Maybe this whole balancing trend that I've become aware of is purely the way that life works. Obviously I'm not the first person to ever entertain this possibility, and for all I know it's just another facet of something much larger.
Actually, I'm not really sure what I'm saying anymore so I'll stop here. And no, I'm not high. But have you ever looked at your hands? I mean really looked at your hands? They can touch everything but themselves... woah.
One more thing. Does anyone want to start a philosophy club? I think that would be fairly awesome, any takers? |
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| Two of a kind beats all hands tonight. |
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| 11:48am 02/07/2006 |
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mood:  calm music: Red Hot Chili Peppers - Universally Speaking
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I'm updating my livejournal.
Hold on to your butts.
I reckoned it might be high time to update, after all, quite a bit has transpired these past weeks. A life event, even, as it were. At the very least I wanted to thank everyone that helped make it possible. If you're reading this, there's a damn good chance you were one of those people. The incredible generosity of all of you was astounding. When I say it couldn't have happened with out everyone, I actually mean that. There were so many near disasters, from the liquor mix up to the weather of biblical proportions. Let's not even mention what shall go down in history as The Great Bow-tie Fiasco of '06. All told though, it could have been much, much worse.
The days leading up to the wedding were both some of the most stressful and fun days of my life. That's saying a lot. Despite the best efforts of the parents Koob, having everyone in the house was an unexpected treat. But really Diana, you shouldn't leave your bowl in the sink, what were you thinking?!
The point of this post isn't to chronicle the events of the wedding per se, most of you were there and experienced it first hand, so that would simply be a waste of time, the point is rather to share with everyone some of the more private moments that didn't get talked about but were just as memorable as air conditioning in the church breaking twice just before the ceremony. For instance, when everyone turned to watch Jenn's entrance (and what an entrance!) I promptly stuck my tongue out at her. Nobody but Joey noticed, prompting him to whisper, "I saw that." Or the day of, getting ready in the neighbor's house, which was somewhat surreal. Regardless, the three of us getting ready was a lot of fun. Trying to figure out how the studs worked, or how to pin a boutonniere (we never did figure it out) then seeing us all dressed up. No sooner then we finished getting ready and remarking to each other about how we should always wear tuxedos, the rain started, and didn't stop.
There is one thing that I didn't talk about much at all, and actively avoided talking about when asked. I think the subject is obvious. Truth be told, I didn't want to do this without her. This wasn't something I ever imagined having to do without my mom. I'm not sure how I would have done it at all without the support of Jenn and all of you. I tried not to think about it much, since it was a happy day, but to little avail. There's really only one thing I can say about it, which is something I said to her friend during the reception, and that was this: I've never seen her so clearly in my mind's eye then I did that day. I'm not saying that it felt like she was there with me, far from it, but I'm reminded of something one of the limo drivers said to me, and I'll have to paraphrase because I really can't remember the exact wording.
"It's really raining today, the angels must be crying."
"Yeah, I must have done something wrong."
"No, it's because they're happy for you."
Thanks Mom, but I asked you for sunshine. ;) |
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| Creativity...? |
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| 12:00am 24/02/2006 |
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mood:  creative music: The Black Mages - Vamo' Alla Flamenco
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So while I was doing some business research/cleaning/watching t.v... I was listening to The Black Mages, a band formed by the composer of most of the Final Fantasy games, and it inspired me. So I pulled out some Sculpey clay, picked an incredibly easy character to sculpt and went to town. Here are my exceedingly rough results. I turned out well, so I think I'll fix it up, maybe bake and paint it. But without any further ado, I present to you... a moogle:
You'll notice my grubby finger prints all over, obvious seams, and a lack of expression. Also his feet are more of a crude stand than anything else, but may I point out his jaunty little pom-pom whatsit?
No, those aren't moogleboobs, it's a tuft of fur, but that isn't very obvious yet, I'll work on that.
So there you have it, I wouldn't exactly call it creativity. It is a crude representation of a copyrighted character in a popular RPG, many people have done something similar and far better, I'm sure, but eh.
:::EDIT!:::
He's missing something! I just realized it and have corrected it. He's missing little fur tufts on his cheeks. Look for updates soon. |
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| Music Get |
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| 11:48am 24/01/2006 |
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Alright, here's the deal. As many of you know, Joe gave me an iPod for Christmas, because he totally rocks. Now I'm sitting on a 30 gig iPod with only 700 songs on it. I want this bitch filled up. Most of you also know that I can be really retarded, so here's where you come in. I want song suggestions, lots of em. I also need a good file sharing program. I haven't touched one since Kazaa Lite, and that stopped working a long time ago. I'd also enjoy not having my computer flooded with viruses if that's at all possible.
So lets have it, send me your playlists. I'm lazy and I want music. |
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| 05:08pm 15/12/2005 |
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mood:  cranky
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Today a man summed up a my job (or at least a portion of it) in the most succinct and accurate way:
"Do you ever get really bratty kids in here? I'm sure you see the worst, a bunch of kids running around and screaming, demanding things. and I bet their parents let them too. It must be like having a bunch of little drunks running around, and you're there pulling the tap thinking 'Well, this isn't a good idea.'"
That is EXACTLY what it's like half of the time. The other half is dealing with blindingly idiotic people asking questions like: "Do you have the tape for that game?" Which, if they spoke english would translate to: "Do you have Mario Party 7 for the Nintendo Gamecube?" And the ever amazing "Can I get that game, you know, that Sony game?" Which means they want the PS2. And as confusing as mistaking systems for games could be it would be excusable if they didn't know that games were, well, called games, yet they do, which leads to this: "Do you have the game for the game?" Say that out loud, see if it makes sense. Don't say it too many times, your ears WILL bleed, but just say it enough to take in what little sense it makes. Then pretend that you expect someone else to understand exactly what you meant. I dare you not to black out from the sheer insanity.
Anybody up for coming up with a clever analogy for that particular brand of madness? I figure now that somebody hit the nail on the head for the obnoxious kids aspect, some one now needs to further simplify my job into a handy sentence or two. That way, when people ask me what I do for a living I can say "I get little drunk children even further shit-faced and (insert other analogy here)."
I'll buy the winner a beer.
Oh, and maybe somebody can clear this up for me. Do people even buy VHS tapes any more? Do they even make them? And as far as I can tell, they've never made video games on a tape format, have they? Cause it's the hot word of the season, next to the ever popular catch all "game" which was mysteriously popularized last year. |
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| True Tales from EB |
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| 11:01pm 29/08/2005 |
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I assure you that the following story is 100% true. Completely insane, but also completely true.
This afternoon while Sharon and I were standing around without any customers in the store, a man wearing a leisure suit rode is bike up to the store. He parked and hopped off, seemingly in a hurry, then burst through the door.
"Do you have any G.I. Joe literature?" He queried.
Not knowing exactly hot to respond to that particular question, and quite possibly rendered semi-retarded by the randomness of it, I could only muster a simple "what?"
"Do you have any literature on G.I. Joe?" the man asked again, this time more agitated.
"We don't sell toys," I lied.
"Yes, I know! But do you have any G.I. Joe literature?"
"No we don't." I replied.
"Do you even know who G.I. Joe is?" He asks, now clearly annoyed.
Sharon, who had remained silent through this whole exchange pipes up without missing a beat and says, "Of course! He's the real american hero!"
The man looks at her, slowly raises his hand to point and says, "Yeah... yeah he is."
Then he leaves.
The End. |
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| Rufus Wainwright ate my balls |
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| 01:33am 08/08/2005 |
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mood: cranky music: NOT RUFUS WAINWRIGHT
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It could just be that I have terrible taste in music. It could just be that I have a tin ear and can't appreciate the subtleties of more mellow music. Or it could just be that Rufus Wainwright sucks.
Listening to him for nearly an hour was one of the most painful musical experiences of my life. I honestly thought that the first song was a joke. Maybe a mistake... a horrible, boring mistake. Maybe he was having a bad night, I'll give him that much. I remember rather liking that song from Shrek, but 60 minutes straight of that kind of music made me want to kill myself. Lauren had warned me that he'd make me want to slit my wrists, and I thought she was just kidding. You know, maybe his lyrics were just really depressing, which can be cool some times, Ben Folds has plenty of depressing lyrics. I didn't realize that she meant the music itself would be a full frontal aural assault on my conscious being. That first song stretched into infinity and at one point I saw a vision of hell: A large hot room packed solid with humans while a blaring song lulled the occupants of the room into submission, a kind of musical lobotomy.
And then he stopped singing and started to talk. The shit that came out of his mouth. "There are so many swamps down here, it's like all marshes, like the meadow lands kept on going. You know, from New York." Then he said something about casinos and aliens in his porthole.
You could hear the crickets.
Actually, you could hear me yawning. I'm not even kidding. As a matter of fact, at another point DURING A SONG it got so quiet that you could here people clearing their throats and coughing. For some people I'm sure that quiet was very meaningful and poingnant. For most people they were trying to stifle laughs at the awkwardness of it all. I know I'm not alone in this one. While the guys to my right were very clearly members of the Rufus Fan Club, the guys on my left were cracking jokes about suicide sounding nice. One dude actually had his fingers jammed into his ears. Not to block out the loud noises mind you, during Ben Folds being infinitely more loud his ears were clear and taking in the music, no, he was trying to block out the music entirely. In the hope of surviving the set, I'm sure.
After a few more tortuous songs he stopped and actually apologized for bringing the mood down. Except that he then said, "But it's sexier that way." WHAT!?
Listen, I don't know much about music, but I do know that if you have to apologize for the mood your songs set, maybe you aren't at the right venue. Perhaps his music would be better enjoyed during a quiet evening at home, reading a book, or at a lounge sipping wine and talking to friends. But jammed up against a stage waiting to rock... well, I'm not exactly sure that this is what you want to be playing. And I definitely know that being depressed and craving the sweet release of death does not turn me on.
At least Ben Folds rocked. Sure, Jenn passed out and I had to rush her out of the crowd... and his set was much shorter than I expected, but he still rocked. I blame Rufus for that anyway. He very obviously sucked the life-force out of her. Bob observed that he was probably an 800 year necromancer who had discovered the secret to eternal youth by siphoning the life out of thousands of people at a time through song. He also came up with a slogan for Rufus: "If you ain't dyin' or cryin', he ain't tryin'!"
If you like him, I... don't know what to say. Cause I'm definitely not sorry, but I do wonder if anybody could explain to me why his music is worth listening to. Anybody? Bueller? |
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| 07:22pm 14/07/2005 |
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mood:  curious
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Hello.
What's up?
Yeah, me too.
What're you doing this weekend?
Ah, yeah, well if you want to, I'm going to go to the boardwalk, want to come? Maybe ride some rides, maybe hit up the waterparks, you know, what ever. Let me know. |
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| Mein Game |
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| 08:29pm 07/07/2005 |
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mood:  indescribable
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Stop me if you've heard this one before:
A guy walks into an EB games to trade in a Playstation 2 and a few games. He saunters up to the counter and hands the clerk his trade in items.
"Trade ins?" the clerk says.
"Yeah, you guys take PS2's, right?" replies the man.
"Of course," says the clerk, "lets see what you've got."
The clerk takes the system and examines it, checking for any signs of abuse. On the back of the system he notices that the serial number has been scratched off, along with a familiar yet curious symbol. "We can't take this," he exclaims nervously, "the serial number has been removed, I'd have to take it as broken." Carefully avoiding mention of the curious symbol.
"But it works!" Protests the customer.
"Yeah, but I can't sell this to somebody else."
The clerk goes to hand the system back, and in doing so notices that same symbol is scratched to an even larger scale on the top of the system.
"Why not?"
"Well, the serial number is missing, and we need that... also, there are multiple swastikas carved into it."
*Ba-dum-ching!*
Get it?
Ok, so, that isn't exactly a joke. That actually happened today. I'm not exactly sure how this situation came into existence, as it seems like a rejected skit from Chapelle's Show. I can't actually figure out the logic of somebody trading in a system covered in what's largely considered an extremely offensive character. What's even better is that one of the carvings was facing the wrong direction. So even though the systems owner was obviously trying to express his dedication to the Nazi party, he was doing so while also wishing somebody good luck. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that it wasn't directed towards a gay jewish black dude.
It gets better though. The guy insisted that "his boy" must have done it, and that he hates "that shit", that we all "come from the cradle of civilization" and that he didn't realize it was on the PS2. I told him that I wasn't about to judge (since I'm rather fond of not being dead) and that I simply could not resell it because of the possibilities.
Imagine the poor child who received this particular unit for Hanukkah. I don't think there are enough years in the human life-span for a professional therapist to correct that little mistake.
Regardless, I took it as a broken unit. But maybe I should buy it myself and sell it on Ebay as Hitler's personal PS2, I hear he was quite the GTA fan. |
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| 06:17am 19/05/2005 |
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Star Wars did not suck. It didn't suck at all. That's about all I can muster at the moment, more later. |
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| 08:18pm 17/05/2005 |
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mood:  exhausted music: Celebrity Bowling
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Today I learned a few interesting facts about Los Angeles.
-The city is fairly ugly. Sure there are some pretty spots, but damn is this city homely.
-The subway sucks, and I mean SUCKS. I'm not sure if anyone from L.A. actually uses it, as it was quite empty, but it effectively goes nowhere that you need to, doesn't accept your money unless it's perfect, and there's a station every... oh... kajillion blocks or so.
-Gregg and I can't read directions pertaining to the city. On our quest for a restaurant, we walked many miles, only to get to the wrong address and realize that the place we were trying to find was actually very close to our hotel. And when I mean very close, I mean it was actually touching our hotel...
-I'm fucking tired... I don't really think that has anything to do with the town, but god damned. I think I've been up since butt-crack-o-clock and I can't afford to sleep yet. F me.
Oh well, at least we've got a super sweet SUV with leather interior, and tomorrow is set to rock our faces off. |
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| 10:18am 16/05/2005 |
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mood: excited music: Star Wars - Revenge of the Sith - Battle of the Heroes
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Holy flarking snit! An update!
I'm sitting here, excited beyond words because this time tomorrow I'll be landing in L.A. Where I'll not only get to realize an 11 year long dream, but also see a movie I've been waiting my entire life to see. It's unbelievable to me, that I'll be two things I only dreamed about at the same time!
I know that E3 is loud, hot, and incredibly crowded, but that hardly matters to me right now. The idea of playing Zelda months before I can buy it seems unbelievable, and something I'd be willing to suffer through a whole lot for. Before A Link to the Past came out I was obsessed with it. I got very sick at one point and my fevered delusions were all set in the land of Hyrule, that's how obsessed I was. Not that Zelda will be the only game on display, but it's just the perfect example of why I'm bouncing around like a little kid on Christmas Eve.
And then there's Star Wars. Everybody knows how I feel about those movies. I love them with a passion that's only out stripped by my love for Jenn (thank goodness, right?) But if I were to talk about obsessions, I would be remiss to not mention my life long fascination with everything Star Wars. You've all see my living room, some of you have seen my bedroom back in Linwood. Those movies had an impact on me as a child, so strong, that no matter how mediocre the new movies are I can't help but get chills everytime I hear those classic theme songs. I can't remember the first time I saw ANH, but I know that I was too young to tell the difference between the Death Star and the Star Destroyers. I used to think that Han and Luke rescued Leia from a Star Destroyer, and then later went back to blow up the Death Star. Don't ask me how I worked that one out, as it clearly doesn't make any sense, but I was probably still a toddler the first time I saw that movie. I was so young that my favorite movie was Jedi because it had the best saber fights. I didn't get to see them in the theaters until the re-releases in '97, but I was there, in line, hours before the first showing of ANH even started. I saw each countless times and when '99 rolled around with Episode I, I wanted to see it so intensely that I went to the midnight showing alone. Who goes to the movies alone?! Then for Episode II (a lot of you were there) I had my mom make me a jedi costume and went to the theater wielding a toy saber and wearing those robes.
My mom is the entire reason for my Star wars obsession. She showed the movies to me on an old VHS all of those years ago, she was with me for the re-releases, and even though she didn't see EP1 with me at midnight, she did go with me the following afternoon. Much like many other children out there, Star Wars is something I shared with my mother. The fact that she isn't going to be able to see the new movie
breaks my heart. I told Gregg that if I cry at the end of Sith, it isn't because Lucas is a masterful story teller and that there's a tear jerker ending, but that the person who introduced me to this wonderful universe couldn't be with me for the final movie. I miss my mom very much, and there are many things that I desperately want to share with her. This movie, my "real" lightsaber, my trip to E3, when I met Weird Al and the fact that I'm getting married...
That's another thing, I'm getting married! I asked Jenn to marry me, and she said yes (duh). You all know, I'm sure, but what the hey, it might be news to someone. There are big things happening, some trivial and fleeting, others life changing. Did I mention I was excited? |
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| 04:45pm 07/04/2005 |
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mood:  sad
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It's the 7th, and I don't really have anything new to say, but I think that I've already said it better before in the eulogy I gave at the funeral. Here it is for those of you who weren't there, don't remember it, couldn't hear me, or want to hear it again:
When I sat down to put my thoughts on paper, I had a difficult time making the words fit just right, heck, I had a hard time just spelling the words. But after a while something hit me. No matter how bad this is, no matter how poorly worded and confusing this is, my mom would say, “That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard.”
That’s just one of the amazing things about her. She was always extremely optimistic. It didn’t matter how ugly something was, to her it was “unique.” It didn’t matter how gross something tasted, she’d say it was “interesting.” No matter how bleak the situation looked, she’d tell you it was going to be alright.
She was a support to everyone. She was a teacher, a mentor, a leader, a friend, and a mother. She was my mother, my mommy, and when ever things got tough, I’d always run to her. I think it’s safe to say that most of us here felt that way. My mom, Mickie, was always the one to go to when you didn’t know where else to turn. She didn’t always have the answers, she didn’t always know what to say, but she always, somehow, made it better.
Whenever I was hurt or sad, I’d turn to my mom to make things ok. She was the one I would turn to when I needed to cry, when I needed comfort. But now she’s gone, and who do I turn to? It feels like everything good that I’ve known has died along with her. Every color has become a little more dull, every flavor more bland. I know I am not the only one that feels this way. She touched everyone she met. We’ve all lost someone to cry to, someone to turn to. She was a support to so many. So now who do we turn to?
I know that nobody will ever take her place. Nobody ever could. But we shouldn’t worry about that. Instead, we should all think about what we loved about her, remember the times we had with her and how she helped us and try our best to do the same for each other. There is a huge hole inside of all of us without her, and instead of trying to find someone who can fill that in ourselves, we should do our best to fill the hole in everyone else. If we can learn anything from her, it’s that life is better when you help others. She never worried about herself if someone needed her help. She was always active, always busy. She was always living life and helping others. What a wonderful way to live.
You were so many things to so many people mom, but you’ll always be just that to me, my mom. The best I could ever wish for, and the best person I could ever hope to know. If I can be half the person you are, I’ll be happy and I know you’ll be proud. I love you, and I’ll never stop missing you. But I count myself among the many lucky ones here today. Everyone that loves you and that you loved in return is blessed. There are many that will never know you, and they are the ones that I am truly sad for. No words will ever do your memory justice to those who will never know you personally. So for their sake, I’ll be the best I can be, the way I know you’d want me to be. I’ll never stop thinking, what would you do? Goodbye mom, you’ve made this world a better place, and I’ll always love you. |
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| 08:41am 04/12/2004 |
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This was too weird not to post. If you don't get it, look at my user icon, that's an evangelion.
But now that I think about it, giant living robots that fight equally giant aliens and frequently go crazy in a blood soaked rampage of destruction while randomly dissolving the people piloting them... are kinda loveable. You know, in that Man-playing-God sort of way. |
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